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25 Best Programming Jokes & Quotes in 2020
  1. “Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.” – Michael Sinz
  2. “The only way to learn a new programming language is by writing programs in it.” – Dennis Ritchie
  3. “The best error message is the one that never shows up.” – Thomas Fuchs
  4. It´s better to wait for a productive programmer to become available than it is to wait for the first available programmer to become productive.”  – Steve McConnell
  5. ” System programmers are the high priests of a low cult.”  – Robert S. Barton
  6. “Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight.”  – Bill Gates
  7. “The computer was born to solve problems that did not exist before.”  – Bill Gates
  8. “Real programmers don’t comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.” – Unknown
  9. “People don’t care about what you say, they care about what you build.” – Mark Zuckerberg
  10. ” We have to stop optimizing for programmers and start optimizing for users.” — Jeff Atwood
  11. ” If the code and the comments do not match, possibly both are incorrect. “ — Norm Schryer
  12. “The most damaging phrase in the language is… it’s always been done this way” – Grace Hopper
  13. “Don’t write better error messages, write code that doesn’t need them.” – Jason C. McDonald
  14. “Without requirements or design, programming is the art of adding bugs to an empty text file.” – Louis Srygley
  15. “Before software can be reusable it first has to be usable.” -Ralph Johnson
  16. “If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.” – Gerald Weinberg
  17. “One man’s crappy software is another man’s full-time job.” – Jessica Gaston
  18. “A good programmer is someone who always looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.” – Doug Linder
  19. “Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live.” – Martin Golding
  20. “Deleted code is debugged code.” – Jeff Sickel
  21. “If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.” -Edsger Dijkstra
  22. “Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning. “ – Rick Cook
  23. “There are only two kinds of programming languages: those people always bitch about and those nobody uses.”  – Bjarne Stroustrup
  24. “The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell what a programmer is doing until it’s too late.”  Seymour Cray
  25. “Don’t worry if it doesn’t work right. If everything did, you’d be out of a job.”  Mosher’s Law of Software Engineering

 

 

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